Rude & Crude

Week Ending 1/26/07:

It's a packed train about 6:30 PM. We're headed south from NY to D.C. A guy was seated three rows in front of me and had commanded both seats. He decided to get comfortable. Off went his shoes, on goes his computer with some Rush Hour type of movie blazing. He pulled out dinner and sets up across both seats and tray tables. He's in a suit, apparently going home after either a day in the pit or a job interview. He's a white guy of average build and appeared to be in his mid-to-late-twenties. The entitlement generation! He doesn't fit any stereotypes of someone who may start trouble, like a biker, gang member or old man who's soup has to be sent back at the diner. He believed his train ticket entitled him to provide himself whatever entertainment or distraction he pleased. Other riders be damned! He had his movie on full volume, every mind-numbing explosion, car chase and inane exchange of dialogue to be "enjoyed" within a ten-row radius. After about ten minutes, an Asian guy sitting across the aisle who was trying to get some work done, peers over at the perp with a thinly-veiled look of disdain. Almost instantly, the jerk with his movie becomes Ratso Rizzo and his "I'm walking here" rant. "What are you looking at", he snarled. "Don't be giving me any weird looks, pal". "I have a ticket and I'm enjoying my dinner", he announced to anyone within earshot. "If you don't like it, there's a quiet car in the back. Go have a seat there." Well there goes the neighborhood! Several of my equally-disturbed railers decided we were going to let this guy know the rules. Each of us jumped up, and "politely" informed him that he needed to have a headset in order to be listening to a movie, and if another passenger can hear the story, then the volume is too loud. The deaf and the dumb didn't want any part of this group intervention, but was basically giving us all the finger by continuing his movie. He challenged any of us to go report him to the conductor if we had a problem, and several of us said "no problem with that". A business-type guy got up and went to find the conductor. The perp sat there smugly and running his mouth about how he's had a long day, and no one was going to stop him from relaxing on his way home. The conductor arrived and laid out the rules, just as we had described them. The perp began to argue with the conductor. To his credit, the conductor kept his cool. Many of the conductors are pretty soft spoken and meek, a few are not. This one was in charge! After a few minutes of listening and trying to reason with our perp, the conductor laid it straight out: turn it off or he'd be thrown off the train at the next stop. The inconsiderate bastard decided he better chill, but was just burning over his public humiliation. The guy decided to act out his aggression by talking to himself in a loud voice and calling his friends on his cell phone to communicate his ordeal. He talked on his cellphone and put it on speakerphone the whole way to Philly, where he referred to everyone around him as m.f'ers and assholes. He didn't want to actually become physical, and I didn't want an assault charge waiting for me, so I decided to chalk it up to the spirit of diverse community that develops in the public square. He got off the train in Philly and we returned to Pleasantville!