Week Ending 11/16/07:
We are always hearing about the terrible budget condition that Amtrak finds itself facing. Hostile non-railers in Congress want to trim more of the federal subsidy (leave it to Washington to bite the hand that feeds it, i.e., commuters getting to work in order to feed the FICA-monster) and make it more of a burden on us, over-taxed working poor! And while were at it, lets throw on a bigger helping of AMT to boot-- which makes me boot! Sorry, I digress. The Amtrak planners demonstrated their lack of Econ 101 when they boosted the cost of monthly rail passes. Mine was raised by 64% over a 15-month period. Their published explanation was that monthly ticket holders were receiving too large a discount over the regular round-tripper and that raising the fares was fairer. Huh? They also stated that this increase in ticket-toll would help make up some of the revenue shortfall. Prices were raised even after a consultant's report was released that stated that the increased monthly rail passes would, at best, be revenue-neutral. The additional squeezing of the faithfully departing, would be countered by the lost ridership of those who squealed "Enough" and left the rail system altogether. So far, no official information on this impact, only my personal observations of lighter loads and some of the former regulars who are now MIA.
Fortunately, Amtrak is trying some market-friendly alternatives to help keep the lights on and the conductor's pensions funded: advertising. Not spending more money on advertising, but selling ads (hey, if it works for Google). The ads I'm talking about are actually more traditional than cyber. Think rolling billboard. Starting this week, Acela Express from D.C. running to Boston will be wrapped in advertisements for an upcoming History Channel Special, hosted by Tom Brokow. The subject is "1968" and we can expect to see the giant images of Richard Nixon, Bobby Kennedy, Martin Luther King and Bob Dylan flash before our eyes. It should be particularly evident to our Delaware neighbors, since Amtrak rails parallels I-95 and makes the trains easily visible. As long as someone is willing to pay for the space, I'm sure there will be plenty more to come. I'd like to suggest two additional sources of free-market revenue for Amtrak: the Casino Car and "Acelerated", the work-out car. The rail casino could have one side for slots and the other side for blackjack. Create a partnership with a Native American tribe (I think Amtrak means "rolling in chips" in the Algonquin tongue) and give Donald Trump a management stake (picture The Donald plastered all over the outside of the car) and violla! Budget crisis solved in 120 days! My second solution caters to the time-conscious exerciser. What better way to chew up some miles during your commute and slip in a workout as well. The car could be equipped with steppers and ellipticals and maybe a compact weight station or two. Each user would be limited to twenty minutes or a half hour and equipment would be unlocked via credit card. Memberships could be sold and injury waivers would be signed as well. That should do it. Examples of the market at work and no need for escalating federal handouts or immediate in-your-pocket fare increases. As the Brits (who know a thing or two about trains) would say, brilliant!
Saturday, November 17, 2007
Saturday, November 10, 2007
Sour Gropes
Saturday 11/10/07:
As crowded as Monday mornings appear, or as pushy a sold-out, night-before Holiday escape from Penn Station becomes, none of Amtrak's schedule can come close to the JR (Japan Railway) in Tokyo. Apparently, one of the unpleasant bi-products of this ant farm-like transit system is a bizarre propensity for male commuters to grope female railers. As if armpit-in-your nostril straphangers wasn't uncomfortable enough, throw in some unwanted bumping,grinding and grabbing to the mix for a real nightmare commute! According to recent reports, Tokyo is facing an epidemic of men who can't keep their hands to themselves. In a related survey, 64% of Tokyo women in their 20's and 30's reported that they have been groped on trains or subways.
One response created to offer some relief has been the creation of the "women only" car, a coach on the train available to female riders. Another has been the development of a free download for cell phones offered by game-maker Takahashi that will flash a bold series of questions. The application flashes increasingly threatening messages in bold print on the phone's screen to show the offender. These include "Did you just grope me?" It follows up with " Did you know groping is a crime?" and "Should we head to the police?" It has become the 2nd most popular download in Tokyo and 7th overall for the company. And while many young women are too embarrassed to take action, other are not. According to their most recent statistics, Tokyo Metropolitan Police reported 1,853 people were arrested in 2005 for groping passengers on trains in Tokyo. So how is one of these purvy gropers suppose to get his kicks? Well, leave it to Japanese ingenuity! How about the "Train Cafe", a real train car that provides a simulated train ride and where groping is allowed! This "escape" is provided just minutes from Tokyo's Ikebukuro station. The cost of a membership is $42 and each "ride" is $30. Along with servings of tea for $25, the 20-minute faux-commute departs every hour and serves up young women for the rider's groping pleasure! In addition to "company girls" who are dressed in school-girl outfits or aprons, other "normal" girls who hang out at the cafe after work, can jump on board and join in! Apparently, many members use this activity as a precursor for getting a date, going to dinner, and many report, a steady relationship that has led to marriage! This really brings new meaning to the commuters "daily grind."
As crowded as Monday mornings appear, or as pushy a sold-out, night-before Holiday escape from Penn Station becomes, none of Amtrak's schedule can come close to the JR (Japan Railway) in Tokyo. Apparently, one of the unpleasant bi-products of this ant farm-like transit system is a bizarre propensity for male commuters to grope female railers. As if armpit-in-your nostril straphangers wasn't uncomfortable enough, throw in some unwanted bumping,grinding and grabbing to the mix for a real nightmare commute! According to recent reports, Tokyo is facing an epidemic of men who can't keep their hands to themselves. In a related survey, 64% of Tokyo women in their 20's and 30's reported that they have been groped on trains or subways.
One response created to offer some relief has been the creation of the "women only" car, a coach on the train available to female riders. Another has been the development of a free download for cell phones offered by game-maker Takahashi that will flash a bold series of questions. The application flashes increasingly threatening messages in bold print on the phone's screen to show the offender. These include "Did you just grope me?" It follows up with " Did you know groping is a crime?" and "Should we head to the police?" It has become the 2nd most popular download in Tokyo and 7th overall for the company. And while many young women are too embarrassed to take action, other are not. According to their most recent statistics, Tokyo Metropolitan Police reported 1,853 people were arrested in 2005 for groping passengers on trains in Tokyo. So how is one of these purvy gropers suppose to get his kicks? Well, leave it to Japanese ingenuity! How about the "Train Cafe", a real train car that provides a simulated train ride and where groping is allowed! This "escape" is provided just minutes from Tokyo's Ikebukuro station. The cost of a membership is $42 and each "ride" is $30. Along with servings of tea for $25, the 20-minute faux-commute departs every hour and serves up young women for the rider's groping pleasure! In addition to "company girls" who are dressed in school-girl outfits or aprons, other "normal" girls who hang out at the cafe after work, can jump on board and join in! Apparently, many members use this activity as a precursor for getting a date, going to dinner, and many report, a steady relationship that has led to marriage! This really brings new meaning to the commuters "daily grind."
Friday, November 9, 2007
Gravy Train
Week Ending 11/8/07:
Fall has arrived and what better time to think of my three favorite "f" words: family, food and friends than the weeks leading up to the Holidays. My favorite holiday is Thanksgiving and I had an early glimpse this week of times to come. Not that I'm looking forward to extra-packed trains filled with visitors to the City or travelers going home for the Holidays. One gentlemen, riding from Philadelphia to Washington, decided to get a jump on the season and brought almost a complete Thanksgiving meal with him on board. He was probably around 60, dressed in normal business attire, and average by all accounts. He had a large shopping bag which he sat on the seat next to him. Out of the bag comes a whole roaster chicken, mashed potatoes, gravy, cranberry dressing and yes, pumpkin pie for dessert! And yes, he did eat the whole thing. I'm always amazed at the volume of exotic foods that passengers bring with them. Usually it's brought with its own unique aromas of spices depicting far away lands, and usually the aroma is pretty putrid! But I have to admit, the guy and his chicken really caught everyone's attention.
Fall has arrived and what better time to think of my three favorite "f" words: family, food and friends than the weeks leading up to the Holidays. My favorite holiday is Thanksgiving and I had an early glimpse this week of times to come. Not that I'm looking forward to extra-packed trains filled with visitors to the City or travelers going home for the Holidays. One gentlemen, riding from Philadelphia to Washington, decided to get a jump on the season and brought almost a complete Thanksgiving meal with him on board. He was probably around 60, dressed in normal business attire, and average by all accounts. He had a large shopping bag which he sat on the seat next to him. Out of the bag comes a whole roaster chicken, mashed potatoes, gravy, cranberry dressing and yes, pumpkin pie for dessert! And yes, he did eat the whole thing. I'm always amazed at the volume of exotic foods that passengers bring with them. Usually it's brought with its own unique aromas of spices depicting far away lands, and usually the aroma is pretty putrid! But I have to admit, the guy and his chicken really caught everyone's attention.
Saturday, September 15, 2007
Loud Talkers
Week ending 9/15/07:
"Do you hear yourself?" What use to be the question that moms would ask, I now claim as mine. People on the train continue to hold every imaginable type of cell phone conversation while on board. It doesn't matter how sensitive: business merger, legal, love-lorn and just plain-old angry. Don't they know that others are listening? Rather, can't help but listen because they are talking so loudly! Remember the close-talker from Seinfeld? Jerry should have covered the loud-talker. People can't get it through their head that they don't have to shout when using their cell phone. There was a recent story released about an actual disconnect that occurs between our ears and our mouths when using a device shaped like a cell phone. Apparently, some people really can't distinguish auditory currents, which creates a feedback response that makes the person raise their voice. In any event, too many railers on the railes, prompting the always annoying "can you hear me?" Of course they can hear you, everyone on this train can hear you! A guy this week (who's sitting three rows behind me) is talking to a friend about his recent trip to India. I swear it sounded like he's sitting on my shoulder! No such thing as intimacy, discretion or propriety. Just lay it out there for the world to hear. Scold a spouse, berate a child, humiliate an employee, brag about a conquest or threaten legal action with a business associate. Not that these devil-may-care attitudes are the exclusive purview of the aggressive tyrant. Loud talkers can also include those seeking forgiveness: a plea for leniency over a credit-problem, begging for attention from an apparently not-so-interested former paramour, or a rationalization of an infidelity are all part of the shared dialogue to which I've witnessed. Go ahead, keep on talking. Minutes are free after 7:00PM!
"Do you hear yourself?" What use to be the question that moms would ask, I now claim as mine. People on the train continue to hold every imaginable type of cell phone conversation while on board. It doesn't matter how sensitive: business merger, legal, love-lorn and just plain-old angry. Don't they know that others are listening? Rather, can't help but listen because they are talking so loudly! Remember the close-talker from Seinfeld? Jerry should have covered the loud-talker. People can't get it through their head that they don't have to shout when using their cell phone. There was a recent story released about an actual disconnect that occurs between our ears and our mouths when using a device shaped like a cell phone. Apparently, some people really can't distinguish auditory currents, which creates a feedback response that makes the person raise their voice. In any event, too many railers on the railes, prompting the always annoying "can you hear me?" Of course they can hear you, everyone on this train can hear you! A guy this week (who's sitting three rows behind me) is talking to a friend about his recent trip to India. I swear it sounded like he's sitting on my shoulder! No such thing as intimacy, discretion or propriety. Just lay it out there for the world to hear. Scold a spouse, berate a child, humiliate an employee, brag about a conquest or threaten legal action with a business associate. Not that these devil-may-care attitudes are the exclusive purview of the aggressive tyrant. Loud talkers can also include those seeking forgiveness: a plea for leniency over a credit-problem, begging for attention from an apparently not-so-interested former paramour, or a rationalization of an infidelity are all part of the shared dialogue to which I've witnessed. Go ahead, keep on talking. Minutes are free after 7:00PM!
Saturday, September 1, 2007
Sounds of Silence
Week Ending 9/01/07:
When does silence make noise? When riding in the "quiet car." Of course, it's not really silence that's the standard, but rather a "library-like environment, no cell phones, no loud talking and no extended conversations." Most railers who seek the solitude of this rolling retreat (myself included) have the unrealistic expectation that we can take our seat and drift off to napville or focus on our reading assignment in quiet bliss. The irony of these misappropriated thoughts is that sound, no matter how reduced, still seems amplified when made in a relatively silent space. I guess that's why Amtrak has named it the "quiet car" and not the "silent car." Violators of the standing rules can be easily identified, admonished and if necessary, reported to the conductor. Most of the conductors do a pretty good job with enforcement of the policy. More difficult to police are the noisemakers who fall outside the protocol. They don't talk or use their phones, but disturb the peace, nonetheless. Snoring rolls like thunder out of some guys (sorry ladies, percentage-wise, you're still not equal in this department). Computer keyboards on some laptops, when left in the caffeine-fueled nimble digits of the typing-gifted, can sound like a flamenco performance. Tearing a newspaper, persistent smokers- hack, sorting through jumbo purses, the nerve shattering velcro-rip on some briefcases and even the squeaky seats that rattle as we roll adds to the disturbance. I guess expectations just have to be tempered to accommodate this reality. That, or the purchase of a noise-cancelling headset is the ticket.
When does silence make noise? When riding in the "quiet car." Of course, it's not really silence that's the standard, but rather a "library-like environment, no cell phones, no loud talking and no extended conversations." Most railers who seek the solitude of this rolling retreat (myself included) have the unrealistic expectation that we can take our seat and drift off to napville or focus on our reading assignment in quiet bliss. The irony of these misappropriated thoughts is that sound, no matter how reduced, still seems amplified when made in a relatively silent space. I guess that's why Amtrak has named it the "quiet car" and not the "silent car." Violators of the standing rules can be easily identified, admonished and if necessary, reported to the conductor. Most of the conductors do a pretty good job with enforcement of the policy. More difficult to police are the noisemakers who fall outside the protocol. They don't talk or use their phones, but disturb the peace, nonetheless. Snoring rolls like thunder out of some guys (sorry ladies, percentage-wise, you're still not equal in this department). Computer keyboards on some laptops, when left in the caffeine-fueled nimble digits of the typing-gifted, can sound like a flamenco performance. Tearing a newspaper, persistent smokers- hack, sorting through jumbo purses, the nerve shattering velcro-rip on some briefcases and even the squeaky seats that rattle as we roll adds to the disturbance. I guess expectations just have to be tempered to accommodate this reality. That, or the purchase of a noise-cancelling headset is the ticket.
Sunday, August 19, 2007
Flipped Out
Week ending 8/18/07:
Shoes make the man. And the woman. The problem at this time of year, however, is they are hard to find. Not people, shoes! There seems to be more feet and less shoe! You know its summer because everywhere you look, you encounter the ubiquitous flip flop. Anyone old enough to know the term "gumshoe" now has a new context. These contemporary versions would have little luck sneaking up on anyone, not with the constant "flip flop" sound that betrays their every move.
The train "floppers" are even more annoying. They slow down the processional of trying to board or exit the train, always requiring someone having to stop to adjust a errant flop that didn't flip. With toes exposed, it's easier for loungers to put their feet up and relax. Just what the next rider wants, summertime feet all over the seat! I do get to witness a variety of toe exposure. Red toes, pink, purple, blue, green, gold and even black painted piggies. Not that I'm particularly interested, but it does create a temporary diversion to try and match a personality type to a person's toe color choice. And that wretched sound, it's maddening, like urban cicadas that chirp a rubberized million-mom march.
The worst by far are man-toes, whether possessed by genetically-cursed females or their toe-bearing brothers. Particularly offensive are the business suit men who feel compelled to complete their wall street look with flip-flops! The train does make announcements that "shoes must be worn at all times as you move about the coach". This is for the protection of the shoeless, claims the conductor. No doubt!I can only imagine these bear-footers wail once their toes were run over by one of the oversize tuba cases that double as a carry-on for some riders.
Shoes make the man. And the woman. The problem at this time of year, however, is they are hard to find. Not people, shoes! There seems to be more feet and less shoe! You know its summer because everywhere you look, you encounter the ubiquitous flip flop. Anyone old enough to know the term "gumshoe" now has a new context. These contemporary versions would have little luck sneaking up on anyone, not with the constant "flip flop" sound that betrays their every move.
The train "floppers" are even more annoying. They slow down the processional of trying to board or exit the train, always requiring someone having to stop to adjust a errant flop that didn't flip. With toes exposed, it's easier for loungers to put their feet up and relax. Just what the next rider wants, summertime feet all over the seat! I do get to witness a variety of toe exposure. Red toes, pink, purple, blue, green, gold and even black painted piggies. Not that I'm particularly interested, but it does create a temporary diversion to try and match a personality type to a person's toe color choice. And that wretched sound, it's maddening, like urban cicadas that chirp a rubberized million-mom march.
The worst by far are man-toes, whether possessed by genetically-cursed females or their toe-bearing brothers. Particularly offensive are the business suit men who feel compelled to complete their wall street look with flip-flops! The train does make announcements that "shoes must be worn at all times as you move about the coach". This is for the protection of the shoeless, claims the conductor. No doubt!I can only imagine these bear-footers wail once their toes were run over by one of the oversize tuba cases that double as a carry-on for some riders.
Sunday, May 20, 2007
Social Insecurity
Week ending 5/19/07:
As we chew up miles of track on the daily commute, I sometimes wonder "how in the world does The Department of Homeland Security keep tabs on this labyrinth of rail lines, both freight and commuter, that make up our nation's rail system?" I guess you know the answer. Let's face it, the so-called "security check" conducted on Amtrak is a joke. No screenings of passengers, no screening of luggage or packages (they don't even enforce the baggage size limitation). Even the announced "random ID check" is so random that it just about never occurs! Not that asking for a picture ID 1/2 hour or more AFTER the train leaves the station was ever any big deterrent or safeguard. These concerns were brought into focus for me this week on the evening trip back to Baltimore. There was a young man, mid-twenties or so, dressed in clothing that identified him as Muslim. He was accompanied by two young woman of similar age and dressed in long berkas. What created the alarm was their conversation in what sounded like Arabic, the young man praying, and his videotaping of several chemical plants in Delaware (these were the only things he taped during the trip). Several passengers were very uneasy with this routine, so they went and reported his actions to the conductor (Amtrak does advertise "if you see something, say something") as part of their security alert. The conductor acted appropriately and asked for their ID, which they produced in the form of passports. When we arrived at Wilmington, he alerted a cop who was patrolling the platform. The train was delayed for about 30 minutes while the cop went through whatever protocol was in place (he did remove the three from the train to continue questioning them). After that time, they were allowed back on the train to continue to Baltimore. The conductor (who I have come to know as a result of my regular railing on his train) shared with me that the guy's name came up on a "watch list" that the cop called in, but that his name was very common, similar to "John Smith", so there was no way of knowing whether he was just an unlucky innocent, or a world terrorist. The conductor said the cop had called ahead to see if they could get any additional information regarding their identity. Needless to say, that was not real comforting, but several of us decided to keep an eye peeled for trouble(like that was some real protection). Anyway, when we arrived in Baltimore, sure enough, these three people were greeted by some cops and two FBI agents. I continued on my way, so I don't know the outcome of their discussion. Anyway, I hope you get my point. If this was really a bad guy, maybe his research efforts were cut short and a planned attack was averted. Maybe he was only one of a number of similar events that has gone unreported or undiscovered. The commuter and freight systems (zinc chloride, phosphoric acid, choline gas, petroleum distillates, etc.) are one big nightmare of a potential HAZMAT disaster. One investigative reporter recently wrote of his escapades through the Northeast corridors' rail system when he demonstrated security breakdowns as he climbed HAZMAT trains and locomotives in various rail yards, videotaping derailing levers or peeking into signal boxes that control rail traffic, and never being stopped or questioned by workers who observed his actions! Yikes! It's only through the grace of God that we are spared! We need prayers, vigilance and a renewed call on public officials to make our rail system a priority security issue!
As we chew up miles of track on the daily commute, I sometimes wonder "how in the world does The Department of Homeland Security keep tabs on this labyrinth of rail lines, both freight and commuter, that make up our nation's rail system?" I guess you know the answer. Let's face it, the so-called "security check" conducted on Amtrak is a joke. No screenings of passengers, no screening of luggage or packages (they don't even enforce the baggage size limitation). Even the announced "random ID check" is so random that it just about never occurs! Not that asking for a picture ID 1/2 hour or more AFTER the train leaves the station was ever any big deterrent or safeguard. These concerns were brought into focus for me this week on the evening trip back to Baltimore. There was a young man, mid-twenties or so, dressed in clothing that identified him as Muslim. He was accompanied by two young woman of similar age and dressed in long berkas. What created the alarm was their conversation in what sounded like Arabic, the young man praying, and his videotaping of several chemical plants in Delaware (these were the only things he taped during the trip). Several passengers were very uneasy with this routine, so they went and reported his actions to the conductor (Amtrak does advertise "if you see something, say something") as part of their security alert. The conductor acted appropriately and asked for their ID, which they produced in the form of passports. When we arrived at Wilmington, he alerted a cop who was patrolling the platform. The train was delayed for about 30 minutes while the cop went through whatever protocol was in place (he did remove the three from the train to continue questioning them). After that time, they were allowed back on the train to continue to Baltimore. The conductor (who I have come to know as a result of my regular railing on his train) shared with me that the guy's name came up on a "watch list" that the cop called in, but that his name was very common, similar to "John Smith", so there was no way of knowing whether he was just an unlucky innocent, or a world terrorist. The conductor said the cop had called ahead to see if they could get any additional information regarding their identity. Needless to say, that was not real comforting, but several of us decided to keep an eye peeled for trouble(like that was some real protection). Anyway, when we arrived in Baltimore, sure enough, these three people were greeted by some cops and two FBI agents. I continued on my way, so I don't know the outcome of their discussion. Anyway, I hope you get my point. If this was really a bad guy, maybe his research efforts were cut short and a planned attack was averted. Maybe he was only one of a number of similar events that has gone unreported or undiscovered. The commuter and freight systems (zinc chloride, phosphoric acid, choline gas, petroleum distillates, etc.) are one big nightmare of a potential HAZMAT disaster. One investigative reporter recently wrote of his escapades through the Northeast corridors' rail system when he demonstrated security breakdowns as he climbed HAZMAT trains and locomotives in various rail yards, videotaping derailing levers or peeking into signal boxes that control rail traffic, and never being stopped or questioned by workers who observed his actions! Yikes! It's only through the grace of God that we are spared! We need prayers, vigilance and a renewed call on public officials to make our rail system a priority security issue!
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