Flipped Out

Week ending 8/18/07:

Shoes make the man. And the woman. The problem at this time of year, however, is they are hard to find. Not people, shoes! There seems to be more feet and less shoe! You know its summer because everywhere you look, you encounter the ubiquitous flip flop. Anyone old enough to know the term "gumshoe" now has a new context. These contemporary versions would have little luck sneaking up on anyone, not with the constant "flip flop" sound that betrays their every move.

The train "floppers" are even more annoying. They slow down the processional of trying to board or exit the train, always requiring someone having to stop to adjust a errant flop that didn't flip. With toes exposed, it's easier for loungers to put their feet up and relax. Just what the next rider wants, summertime feet all over the seat! I do get to witness a variety of toe exposure. Red toes, pink, purple, blue, green, gold and even black painted piggies. Not that I'm particularly interested, but it does create a temporary diversion to try and match a personality type to a person's toe color choice. And that wretched sound, it's maddening, like urban cicadas that chirp a rubberized million-mom march.

The worst by far are man-toes, whether possessed by genetically-cursed females or their toe-bearing brothers. Particularly offensive are the business suit men who feel compelled to complete their wall street look with flip-flops! The train does make announcements that "shoes must be worn at all times as you move about the coach". This is for the protection of the shoeless, claims the conductor. No doubt!I can only imagine these bear-footers wail once their toes were run over by one of the oversize tuba cases that double as a carry-on for some riders.